You Might Be a Golfer….

Reminiscent of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a Redneck..”

I’m starting the “You Might Be a Golfer…” list and I’d like your help. 🙂  Here’s what I’ve thought of so far..


  • your dominant hand is darker than your other hand.
  • you’ve ever used the term “undulation” in a conversation
  • your legs are Bay Watch tan and your feet are ivory white.
  • you’ve ever discussed the finer points of bermuda grass over a beer
  • you’ve eve rubbernecked while driving past a Golf Course.
  • you’ve ever practiced your golf swing while talking to a co-worker in the hall way.
  • you purchased cable for the sole purpose of having The Golf Channel
  • you know what “Ace Insurance” is
  • you purchased an HDTV so you could watch The Golf Channel in HD
  • you’ve started a conversation with a complete stranger because they were wearing a golf hat.
  • you’ve ever punched someone in the face because they said golf is not a real sport (or wanted to)
  • you purchased a Nintendo Wii in the hopes that you could work on your golf swing
  • you’ve ever spent $69 dollars on a polo

Here’s some that others have come up with..

  • it always looks like you’re wearing white socks and a T shirt
  • hearing “FORE!” scares you more than when you hear “foreplay.”
  • you unintentionally aerate the yard while practicing your short game.
  • your forehead is whiter than the rest of your face.
  • you put off replacing family room carpet because you like swing golf clubs in family room.

If you can think of others, leave it in a comment, or give me an @davelair on Twitter.

If you love it, hate it or are somewhere in between, I’d like to hear that too 🙂


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