Tag Archive for Golf Jokes

Golf Jokes – Nun Blasphemy

Nun Blasphemy A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.. “What troubles you, Sister?” asks the Mother Superior, “I thought this was the day you spent with your family?”‘ “It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my…

Golf Humor – Actual Calls to a public golf course

GOLF HUMOR – ACTUAL CALLS RECEIVED AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE ( Amherst , Mass. ) Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars. Caller: Does that include golf? Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: Yes, I need to get some information from you. First,…

Golf Jokes – golfing with an old man

Golf Jokes – golfing with an old man A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if played fast, he could squeeze in nine holes before he had to head home for dinner. Just as he was about to tee off an…

Golf Jokes- terrible weather out there

Golf Jokes – Terrible Weather There was a golfer who played golf every Saturday and Sunday, regardless of the weather. One Saturday, per his usual routine, he left the house early and headed for the golf course. It was so bitter cold that, for once, he decided he wouldn’t play golf that day and went…

Golf Jokes – 25 Irrefutable Laws of Golf

Golf Jokes – 25 Irrefutable Laws of Golf No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the at the end of the round, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a season and, eventually, a lifetime.…

Golf Humor – Lying about your age

Golf Humor – Lying about your age Thomas, a 70 year old, extremely wealthy widower shows up at the country club with an absolutely gorgeous, breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year old brunette. She hangs onto his arm and listens intently to his every word. His usual playing partners and fellow members of the…

Golf Humor – You Might Be a Golfer Redux

Started this list last year and figured it was time to add to it again. Chime in if you have any to add! YOU MIGHT BE A GOLFER IF… your dominant hand is darker than your other hand. you’ve ever used the term “undulation” in a conversation your legs are Bay Watch tan and your…

Golf Humor – Why Golf is Better Than Sex

Here’s a little Friday golf humor. Received these golf jokes in an email, there were 18, but I’ve added a few of my own..  🙂 25 Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex You don’t have to sneak your golf magazines into the house. If you are having trouble with golf, it is perfectly acceptable…

Golf Humor – Murphy’s Laws of Golf

Here’s a little Thursday golf humor for you! It’s a welcomed change to any further discussion of the Tiger Woods Scandal. Murphy’s Laws of Golf Golfers who claim they never cheat, also lie. A two-foot putt counts the same as a two-foot drive. Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole. There…

Golf Humor – Are You A Golf Nut?

Take the follow survey, if the majority of your answers are yes, than you sir/madam are a golf nut! 1. Your idea of a good time is staying home and watching the British Open on a Saturday night. 2. You curse the game only to play it the next day. 3. You haven’t puked from…

Top Ten Best Remarks by Golf Caddies

#10 – Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in that lake..” Caddie: “Think you can keep your head down that long, sir?” #9 – Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.” Caddie: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.” #8 – Golfer: “Do you think my game…

Golf Humor – The Rules of Golf

I hope you’re having a great Friday! Here’s a little golf humor to help you get through the day. The Rules of Golf The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental. If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. Since bad shots…

Golf Humor – Funny Golf Quotes

A little Friday golf humor for you. A friend of mine emailed these to me, couldn’t stop chuckling.. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one…

Golf Humor – John and Helen

Hah! A friend emailed this golf joke to me and couldn’t resist posting it.. John and Helen met while on vacation, and John fell head over heels in love with her. After a couple of weeks in which John took Helen out to various dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, etc; he was convinced that it was…

Golf Humor – A Liar and a Cheat

Lee and Gary head out to the golf course for a quick nine holes. On the first tee, Lee turns to Gary and says, “What do you say we make this time worth something. Play you for $5?” Gary agrees, and they start their rounds. It’s a great game, and the two lifelong friends reach…

You Might Be a Golfer….

Reminiscent of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a Redneck..” I’m starting the “You Might Be a Golfer…” list and I’d like your help. 🙂  Here’s what I’ve thought of so far.. YOU MIGHT BE A GOLFER IF… your dominant hand is darker than your other hand. you’ve ever used the term “undulation” in a conversation…