Hah, I love this joke and make a concerted effort to tell it to my wife daily!
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, ‘If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?’ No, I had to stop drinking years ago, ‘the homeless man replied.
‘Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?’ the man asked.’ No, I don’t waste time fishing, ‘the homeless man said. ‘I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.’
‘Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?’ the man asked. ‘Are you NUTS!’ replied the homeless man. ‘Since failing at my golf degree, I haven’t played golf in 20 years!’
‘Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?’ the man asked.’ What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?’ exclaimed the homeless man.
‘Well, ‘said the man, ‘I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.’ The homeless man was astounded.’ Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.’
The man replied, ‘That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and women.’