A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration..
“What troubles you, Sister?” asks the Mother Superior, “I thought this was the day you spent with your family?”‘
“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to God.”
“I seem to recall that,” the Mother Superior agreed. “So, I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?”
“Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I took the Lord’s name in vain today!”
“Goodness, Sister!” gasped the Mother Superior, astonished, “You must tell me all about it!”
“Well, we were on the fifth tee and this hole is a monster. Mother it was a 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a tucked away, hidden green. I hit the drive of my life, It was the sweetest swing I’ve ever made and I creamed it! It’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted and then it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!”
“Oh my, how unfortunate” commiserated the Mother, “But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister..”
“No, that wasn’t it,” admitted Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway.”
“Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!” sympathized Mother.
“But I didn’t, Mother Superior!” cried the Sister. “And I was so proud of myself! While I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in its claws!”
“So that’s when you swore,” said the Mother with a knowing smile. “No, that wasn’t it either,” the anguished sister said, “because as the hawk started to fly away, the squirrel began struggling, the hawk dropped him right there on the green and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!”
Mother Superior was silent for a long while, sat back in her chair with her arms crossed and fixed the Sister with a baleful stare.
“You missed the God D*** putt, didn’t you?”