Golf Humor – You Might Be a Golfer Redux

Started this list last year and figured it was time to add to it again. Chime in if you have any to add!

YOU MIGHT BE A GOLFER IF…

• your dominant hand is darker than your other hand.
• you’ve ever used the term “undulation” in a conversation
• your legs are Bay Watch tan and your feet are ivory white.
• you’ve ever discussed the finer points of bermuda grass over a beer
• you’ve eve rubbernecked while driving past a Golf Course.
• you’ve ever practiced your golf swing while talking to a co-worker in the hall way.
• you purchased cable for the sole purpose of having The Golf Channel
• you know what “Ace Insurance” is
• you purchased an HDTV so you could watch The Golf Channel in HD
• you’ve started a conversation with a complete stranger because they were wearing a golf hat.
• you’ve ever punched someone in the face because they said golf is not a real sport (or wanted to)
• you purchased a Nintendo Wii in the hopes that you could work on your golf swing
• you’ve ever spent $69 dollars on a polo
• it always looks like you’re wearing white socks and a T shirt
• hearing “FORE!” scares you more than when you hear “foreplay.”
• you aerate the yard while practicing your short game.
• your forehead is whiter than the rest of your face.
• you put off replacing family room carpet because you like swing golf clubs in family room.
• you buy hockey arena board and nail it to the ceiling to stop a golf club from punching through the ceiling while practicing your swing in the house.
• you can recite all of Bill Murray’s lines in Caddyshack …
• you know the difference between Jack Nicklaus and Jack Nicholson …
• your pants have holes in the pockets from golf tees …
• You drink John Daly wine because it is John Daly wine.
• everything you do is evaluated by saying ” I didn’t have my ‘A’ Game today”
• your neighbors call to ask you turn-up your surround sound so they hear the Masters Coverage better.
• in every mirror you pass you have too check your “set up.”
• you are the only one in the room who actually knows what someone means when they say “Never Up, Never in.”
• you jump in the car and hit the gas peddle thinking you are still driving a golf cart.
• you stopped the course superintendent to ask advice on how to change your yard to a putting green.
• you know if you inhale or exhale in your backswing.
• you carry your luck ball mark everywhere you go.
• you know who ‘Ranger Rick’ is and have his autograph.
• If you hear “Twilight” and think “cheap golf” rather than “romance” …
• If you’ve ever been fired from a job from watching live streaming video of a golf tournament.

Thanks everyone who’s contributed so far!

Here’s some more Golf Humor for your viewing pleasure.

Related posts:

1. You Might Be a Golfer….
2. Golf Humor – A Sign posted at a golf club in Scotland
3. Golf Humor – Funny Golf Quotes
4. Golf Humor – Murphy’s Laws of Golf
5. Golf Humor – The Rules of Golf

Tags: Golf Humor, Golf Jokes, jeff foxworthy, You Might Be a Golfer

This entry was posted on January 22, 2010 at 4:43 pm and is filed under Golf Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.