Started this list last year and figured it was time to add to it again. Chime in if you have any to add!
YOU MIGHT BE A GOLFER IF…
- your dominant hand is darker than your other hand.
- you’ve ever used the term “undulation” in a conversation
- your legs are Bay Watch tan and your feet are ivory white.
- you’ve ever discussed the finer points of bermuda grass over a beer
- you’ve eve rubbernecked while driving past a Golf Course.
- you’ve ever practiced your golf swing while talking to a co-worker in the hall way.
- you purchased cable for the sole purpose of having The Golf Channel
- you know what “Ace Insurance” is
- you purchased an HDTV so you could watch The Golf Channel in HD
- you’ve started a conversation with a complete stranger because they were wearing a golf hat.
- you’ve ever punched someone in the face because they said golf is not a real sport (or wanted to)
- you purchased a Nintendo Wii in the hopes that you could work on your golf swing
- you’ve ever spent $69 dollars on a polo
- it always looks like you’re wearing white socks and a T shirt
- hearing “FORE!” scares you more than when you hear “foreplay.”
- you aerate the yard while practicing your short game.
- your forehead is whiter than the rest of your face.
- you put off replacing family room carpet because you like swing golf clubs in family room.
- you buy hockey arena board and nail it to the ceiling to stop a golf club from punching through the ceiling while practicing your swing in the house.
- you can recite all of Bill Murray’s lines in Caddyshack …
- you know the difference between Jack Nicklaus and Jack Nicholson …
- your pants have holes in the pockets from golf tees …
- You drink John Daly wine because it is John Daly wine.
- everything you do is evaluated by saying ” I didn’t have my ‘A’ Game today”
- your neighbors call to ask you turn-up your surround sound so they hear the Masters Coverage better.
- in every mirror you pass you have too check your “set up.”
- you are the only one in the room who actually knows what someone means when they say “Never Up, Never in.”
- you jump in the car and hit the gas peddle thinking you are still driving a golf cart.
- you stopped the course superintendent to ask advice on how to change your yard to a putting green.
- you know if you inhale or exhale in your backswing.
- you carry your luck ball mark everywhere you go.
- you know who ‘Ranger Rick’ is and have his autograph.
- If you hear “Twilight” and think “cheap golf” rather than “romance” …
- If you’ve ever been fired from a job from watching live streaming video of a golf tournament.
Thanks everyone who’s contributed so far!
Here’s some more Golf Humor for your viewing pleasure.