Golf Humor – You Might Be a Golfer Redux

Started this list last year and figured it was time to add to it again. Chime in if you have any to add!

YOU MIGHT BE A GOLFER IF…

  • your dominant hand is darker than your other hand.
  • you’ve ever used the term “undulation” in a conversation
  • your legs are Bay Watch tan and your feet are ivory white.
  • you’ve ever discussed the finer points of bermuda grass over a beer
  • you’ve eve rubbernecked while driving past a Golf Course.
  • you’ve ever practiced your golf swing while talking to a co-worker in the hall way.
  • you purchased cable for the sole purpose of having The Golf Channel
  • you know what “Ace Insurance” is
  • you purchased an HDTV so you could watch The Golf Channel in HD
  • you’ve started a conversation with a complete stranger because they were wearing a golf hat.
  • you’ve ever punched someone in the face because they said golf is not a real sport (or wanted to)
  • you purchased a Nintendo Wii in the hopes that you could work on your golf swing
  • you’ve ever spent $69 dollars on a polo
  • it always looks like you’re wearing white socks and a T shirt
  • hearing “FORE!” scares you more than when you hear “foreplay.”
  • you aerate the yard while practicing your short game.
  • your forehead is whiter than the rest of your face.
  • you put off replacing family room carpet because you like swing golf clubs in family room.
  • you buy hockey arena board and nail it to the ceiling to stop a golf club from punching through the ceiling while practicing your swing in the house.
  • you can recite all of Bill Murray’s lines in Caddyshack …
  • you know the difference between Jack Nicklaus and Jack Nicholson …
  • your pants have holes in the pockets from golf tees …
  • You drink John Daly wine because it is John Daly wine.
  • everything you do is evaluated by saying ” I didn’t have my ‘A’ Game today”
  • your neighbors call to ask you turn-up your surround sound so they hear the Masters Coverage better.
  • in every mirror you pass you have too check your “set up.”
  • you are the only one in the room who actually knows what someone means when they say “Never Up, Never in.”
  • you jump in the car and hit the gas peddle thinking you are still driving a golf cart.
  • you stopped the course superintendent to ask advice on how to change your yard to a putting green.
  • you know if you inhale or exhale in your backswing.
  • you carry your luck ball mark everywhere you go.
  • you know who ‘Ranger Rick’ is and have his autograph.
  • If you hear “Twilight” and think “cheap golf” rather than “romance” …
  • If you’ve ever been fired from a job from watching live streaming video of a golf tournament.

Thanks everyone who’s contributed so far!

Here’s some more Golf Humor for your viewing pleasure.

  5 comments for “Golf Humor – You Might Be a Golfer Redux

  1. at

    Holy crap. More than one of those applies to me. Seriously, we had really gross family room carpet but we loved taking swings after work. I thought I was the only person willing to live with gross carpet to swing in the house! And I actually miss the carpet a little now that we have nice, clean tile…

  2. at

    lol dont feel bad Lisa more than one applys to me as well and you gota sacrafice a lil for the things you love.

  3. joye
    at

    i dont golf but i have a bf who does and i can totally see him doing this one “•you jump in the car and hit the gas peddle thinking you are still driving a golf cart.”

  4. Newg
    at

    You hold a baseball bat with an interlocking grip by default

  5. at

    haha, that’s awesome! Good one and guilty..

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